ADOLESCENCE AND REBELLIONRebellion can be seen in such things as manner of dress and appearance. It is usually the opposite of what the parents’ generation accepts. Little ways of testing out crop up in being late from a date, buying something without permission, arguing with the parents over just anything. The kids are aware of their dependency, and they don’t like it. There is even some shame over being in such a position. It is important that the parents recognize the rebellion and respond to it. In this era of “Be friends with your kids,” some well-meaning parents have accepted any behavior from their kids. For example, if the kids, for the sake of rebellion, brought home some grass to smoke, their parents might light up, too. Often the kids will do whatever they can, just to get their parents angry. They are so often reminded by others of how much they look or act like their father or mother. They don’t want that. Adolescents want to be themselves. They do not want to be carbon copies of their parents, whom they probably don’t much like at the moment. Going out and doing some drinking with the gang, doing something weird to their hair that Mom and Dad will hate, not cleaning their rooms, helping the neighbors but not their parents, are all fairly common ways of testing out and attempting to assert independence.Destructive rebellion can occur when the parents either do not recognize the rebellion or do not respond to it. It can take many forms, such as running out of the house after an argument and driving off at 80 or 90 miles per hour, getting really drunk, running away, or, for girls, getting pregnant despite frequent warnings from their overrestrictive parents to avoid all sexual activities.There are many roadblocks to completion of these four basic tasks. One results from a social paradox. Adolescents are physically ready for adult roles long before our society allows it. Studies of other societies and cultures point this out. In some societies adolescence doesn’t cover a decade or more. It is about a 1-hour trip! Light a fire, beat a gong, send the boy into the woods to pray to the moon; when he returns, hand him a spear and a wife, and he’s in business. Our society dictates instead that people stay in an adolescent position for a frightfully long time: junior high school, senior high school, college, graduate school. Another social paradox comes from the mixed messages. On the one hand, it’s “Be heterosexual, get a date,” “Get a job,” “Be grown up.” On the other, it’s “Be back by 1 AM,” “Save the money for college,” “Don’t argue with me.” The confusion of “Grow up, but stay under my control” can introduce tensions. Another roadblock can be posed by alcohol and drug use. It should be pointed out that of all groups, adolescents are those most likely to be involved with drugs other than alcohol. In considering adolescents it is imperative to think broadly, in terms of substance use and abuse, or chemical dependency, not just in terms of alcohol and alcoholism.This has been a very brief overview of adolescence. There are many excellent books on the subject should you want a more in-depth study. For our purposes here, it will suffice as a context in which to consider alcohol use.*146\331\2*

This is a simple and direct way of providing a painful stimulus of minor degree.

You may suddenly feel, “But I could not stick a pin into myself. The very thought of it upsets me.” If you should feel like this, just remember how many diabetics must have said these words. Then after the first few trials they forget all about it, and go on to give themselves their injections naturally and with very little discomfort. You may say, “But the diabetic has to learn this. I don’t.” But you do. You do, if you wish to master the pain. And there is the evidence of thousands of diabetics that it is really very easy to learn.

Roll up the sleeve on your left arm so as to expose the forearm. Take a pin in your right hand. Now, before you do anything else, let yourself relax. Take your time about it and do it properly. Feel the relaxation of your body, and your face.—Feel the calm.—Let yourself drift.—Your eyes are half open.—You see your forearm, and you see the point of the pin on the skin.—It pushes the skin into a little fold.—You withdraw the pin.

In a way you feel surprised that nothing happened, that there was really no sensation at all. You are utterly relaxed; you feel it in your face and in your mind;—You see the point of the pin on the skin again.—It again pushes the skin into a fold.—There is still no discomfort.—You withdraw the pin.—You are still utterly relaxed.—You do it again.—The pin makes the fold in the skin.—You are utterly relaxed.—You push the pin harder.—It has stuck in the skin.—You leave it there.—You look at the pin sticking in the skin.—The relaxation is still all through you.—You take out the pin.

This is all very simple. But because it is so simple, do not fail to do it. Again, because it is simple, do not just stick the pin into your arm. Anyone can stick a pin in their skin. Remember that you are doing a particular exercise for a particular purpose. If you take short cuts, the whole point of it is lost. The essential feature of the exercise is keeping the mental relaxation while you are doing it.

In this first experiment, it is a help to let the point of the pin rest on the skin for a moment before pushing the skin into a fold with the pin. By doing it slowly and gently at first, we give our mind time to adjust to the situation, and it also makes it much easier for us to maintain our relaxed state.

Do not try to go too quickly. Aim to be leisurely and natural about it. Spread the experiments over a few days, doing a little more on each occasion.

When we have practised this a little, we can push the pin into the skin much more firmly, still without causing discomfort.

We can now modify the experiment by jabbing our skin with the pin instead of gently pushing it into the skin. The jabbing is a much more sudden stimulus, and it does not give our mind the extra time to adjust as when we push the pin in slowly. We are very relaxed, completely

relaxed, our face and our mind.—We take the pin and make little jabs at the skin, just little jabs at first.—We are so relaxed that our eyes are only half open.—We see the pin jabbing our skin.—There is no discomfort.—We are very, very relaxed.—We jab a little harder.—The pin now sticks in the skin.—We leave it there.—We look at it.—Then we take it out.

*141\57\2*

We may be finding problems at work. These may arise from the work itself, or from interpersonal difficulties, with the boss or our peers. Perhaps, more commonly, the problem at work is the threat of the younger people who have a better understanding of the new technology than we have. If the problem, whatever it is, causes stress, there is always the temptation to avoid the unpleasant symptoms of stress by early retirement.

Retire. The problem has gone. Stress is relieved. All is well with the world. For a while. Then come doubts.

‘Work wasn’t really all that bad. I could have got on with the boss. I should not have let the others annoy me. If the young ones do know more about computers than I do, it need not have upset me.’ Then there are inevitable comparisons. ‘Bill Smith. He’s five years older than I am. Never thinks of retiring.’ So the external problem of work soon gives way to the inner problem, ‘How is it that I am not working? It would be good to see some of my old workmates again.’ And, of course, this inner problem may well be supplemented by the outer problem of how to fill in the time. So it may well be that the stress from problems at work is merely substituted for the stress of too early retirement.

It is not uncommon for the situation to be further aggravated by things at home. At first the time together is great for both man and wife. Retirement often starts with a trip or a holiday. All is well. But this comes to an end. He wanders about the house without anything useful to do. His restlessness irritates her. And added to this she has had to give up some of her erstwhile activities with women friends. Even if she does not say it, she thinks, ‘It was better when he was in his job.’ Tension arises between them, without either being clearly aware as to the cause of it.

Two guidelines emerge from this evaluation of early retirement to avoid stress of work. Before retirement the individual should establish some satisfying activities with which to occupy himself when he leaves work. Too many people, pressured by the stress of work, make an early retirement without thinking the matter through. They satisfy themselves with vague ideas. ‘I shall take up golf,’ when in fact they have never played the game. ‘I shall do some charity work,’ when they have never before shown the slightest interest in this field.

The second lesson to be learned, of course, is the fact that early retirement is usually an inferior way of coping with the situation. The real way is to learn to let our mind run easily so that we cope with the problems of work, and stress does not develop.

There are, however, two situations which clearly justify early retirement to avoid stress. One is failing health, whatever the cause might be. It is well to remember that we all do not age at the same rate. Some of us are older at fifty-five than others are at sixty-five. Secondly, the individual who is under stress at work because he has been promoted beyond his ability is justified in seeking early retirement, because any adjustment of his mind to the situation cannot really compensate for his inadequacy in the job.

In discussing these matters we must not confuse those who seek early retirement to avoid stress with those who retire early to upgrade their life in a philosophical sense. To have time to think things out. To experience life in a more satisfying way than one does when caught up in the materialism of the workforce. These people are not retiring to avoid stress. They are graduating to a better experience of life. They are the ones who have learned something as to what it is all about.

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The symptoms of stress, of course, result from the disordered function of our brain when it is unable to fully integrate the flow of nervous impulses it is receiving. Symptoms of stress may occur in almost any aspect of our life, in our body, mind or spirit. This is natural, as our brain is the guiding star for all aspects of our life, from our heart beat to our concept of God.

The development of full-blown symptoms of stress is often preceded by minor symptoms. These are often quite trivial, and the individual may let them pass unheeded. But they are in fact warning signs that stress is imminent, and some action should be taken to restore greater harmony of brain function.

Increased perception of noise

“I have worked for ten years in this factory. Nothing has changed. Everything is just the same. It is only in the last month that I have become aware of the noise. It seems to irritate me. I have asked the others, and they say it is just the same as it always has been.”

‘The children. I am with them all day. No let-up. Never a moment. Used to like to hear them calling out. If they were making a noise I knew all was well. But now the noise upsets me. The calling out. The din. Driving me mad.’

The explanation is simple enough. In stress our nerve cells are over-alerted, and those concerned with our hearing may respond more easily than they should to minor stimuli from the ordinary circumstances in which we are placed.

Failure of concentration

Examinations are often perceived as a major problem, and their approach not uncommonly ushers in a stress reaction.

“I can’t concentrate. Sit with the text in front of me. Make myself read a page. Don’t remember a word of it. Can’t recall a word of what I have read only two minutes before. What’s happened to me? Have I strained my brain? Am I going mad?”

Impulses from the threat of approaching exams crowd our nerve cells so that our brain can no longer function effectively.

It does not matter how soon are the approaching exams; we must have a complete break from study to allow the self-regulating mechanisms of the body time to restore normal brain function. This process can often be helped in quite dramatic fashion by allowing the mind to run quietly in simple meditation for fifteen minutes three or four times a day. The main difficulty in my experience has been that the student is in such a panic about the consequences of possible failure that he will not allow himself the necessary break from study. He forgets that our exam, results depend not only on our knowledge, but also on our performance; that is, our ability to produce our knowledge at the actual exam.

This type of stress reaction is not confined to the student. I have seen it in the chairman of the board at the approach of the annual general meeting!

*36/98/5*