THE HARMONIOUS COUPLE – CASES OF HARMONIOUS RELATIONSHIPS (TOM AND TERRY) PART 2
The crucial element of their successful relationship had to do with their basic acceptance and tolerance of each other’s foibles. She did not become upset or feel rejected by his obsessive need to work but understood it as a part of his basic character. “It was part of the whole package,” she explains. “I loved the man, and knew that this part of him was something that couldn’t be changed, although it could be influenced a little if I did it in a loving way. So I did what I could. Finding creative ways to make money grow was what fueled him, and I knew that and didn’t want to interfere with what made him happy. But I also knew I was an important part of his happiness. I used that to get him to moderate himself and become more of a social animal.”
For his part, Tom notes: “When I first met her, all she wanted to do was go to parties. I must admit I had some doubts about her, some doubts about her substance. But I was so in love with her that I gave her space. I didn’t know why I loved her then, but I realized that it had to do with the fact that she really did have substance—she was strong enough to put up with an absentee husband like me, for instance. And on some level, even though we were so different, we agreed about many things such as child-rearing, politics, philosophy, even agreeing to be different.”
*285/196/1*
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