GAMES FOR IMPULSIVE COUPLES – GAME 3: ALCOHOLIC REVERSAL (PART 2)
The alcoholic will probably be stunned and look aghast at the crusader. This is not what the alcoholic expects or wants. What is expected and wanted is one rebuke on top of another, all of which will serve to assuage guilt and justify future defiance. The crusader continues to break the pattern: “I’m really sorry. Please forgive me. I promise I’ll never do it again.”
“Do what?”
“Act like such a moralistic pig. I know I’ve caused you a lot of pain and misery with my moralistic tyranny. Yes, it’s true—I’ve been getting furious at you for drinking and being a self-righteous tyrant about it. And because of my tyrannical attitude I’ve driven you to drink again and again. Please, please say you’ll forgive me. I promise I’ll never, ever do it again.” The crusader should go on in this vein until the alcoholic is either convinced or begins to protest.
Of course, the crusader’s speech must be convincingly given. This will be the tricky part, since the crusader’s own defensive attitude is that he or she is innocent, and that the only problem in their relationship is the alcoholic. In fact, the crusader’s very identification and ideal image depend on seeing things just this way—so, giving up this posture in order to play this role will be quite a stretch as well as a learning experience. (Even if the crusader is not quite convinced of the truth of the speech in the beginning, it may well ring true as it is delivered.)
*149/196/1*
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