UNDERSTANDING CHILDREN’S BEHAVIOUR: TOILET TRAINING, THUMB-SUCKING, AND OTHER HABITS
Thumb-sucking
Thumb-sucking is a perfectly harmless way in which children obtain satisfaction or reassurance. Almost all children suck their thumbs at times—when they are going to sleep, or when they are frightened or lonely. Babies also suck their thumbs when they are hungry, and when they are teething. The best way to treat thumb-sucking is to ignore it.
Older children who still suck their thumbs do so out of needs other than the urge to suck. They may be bored, tired, or very sleepy. They may do it when they have been scolded or are lonely or tense. Usually, children stop sucking their thumbs by the time they are four or five years old, although the habit may persist after the need has passed.
Stammering, nail-biting, tics and other habits
As I have indicated, children have periods of increased tensions in their development. These vary with their age, the home situation, and the child’s temperament, and manifest themselves in various ways.
Some babies bang their heads against the crib or rock it violently. An older child bites his nails or makes grimaces, blinking his eyes or twitching his lips. Simply trying to use the new words he is so rapidly learning may make a child stammer.
Do not increase your child’s tension by nagging, scolding, or shaming him. It will simply establish the habit more firmly. Ignore these symptoms, and try to eliminate their cause. Usually time will do it for you. You can help in some ways; for example, if you listen attentively to a stammering child, he will relax because he does not have to try so hard to put his ideas across. If tensions still persist, describe them fully to the child’s doctor.
Toilet training
Many parents attempt to toilet-train their children too early and too strictly—and frequently with feelings of shame and revulsion on their own part. As a result, the children may be conditioned towards being timid, unsure, worried about dirt, or ashamed of their bodies.
The most important thing to remember is that if left to himself, a child will stop wetting and soiling when he is ready to do so. I want to urge parents to let nature take its course, with just a little guidance and encouragement.
I disapprove of toilet training in the first year for all children, and during the second year for most children. If parents insist on attempting it early, they should be prepared for many failures, especially if the child becomes ill or has an emotional upset. At such times, the parents should assume a nonchalant rather than a punitive attitude towards the child, and be willing to start the training over again.
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